


Bringing back our love from the shadows

by tetsuskitten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, True Love's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-04 20:59:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetsuskitten/pseuds/tetsuskitten
Summary: Oikawa Tooru has a very special gift: he is able to creat bridges. Bridges across people, oceans, even worlds. But as any magic, it comes at a price. And when Tooru crosses a line, he has to pay it.





	1. Divide me down to the smallest I can be

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my awesome friend Sarah (romanciere) for helping me review my work and for completing what I lack! <3

 

 

“What did you do?!” Oikawa screamed helplessly as he held Iwaizumi, unconscious, in his arms. Tears that streamed down his face fell to Iwaizumi’s cheeks, making it look like little droplets of rain.

“This is your own doing and, alas, your punishment, Oikawa Tooru.” A distant voice came from within the shadows, already leaving, already fleeting.

“But- what is it? Please…what did you do to him?” Oikawa pled between sobs, his heart hammering his chest, hurting his ribs, his throat closed up around itself.

“I made him forget.”

And that was the end of it. A gust of wind came and the street was silent and Oikawa’s eyes were burning and he didn’t know what that meant. What exactly did Iwaizumi forget? His mind felt like it was about to burst but he couldn’t worry about that right now, he had to get Iwaizumi home, out of the cold and warm him up, put him to bed and let him rest. He would have to deal with what came in the morning, for now, he had to take care of Iwaizumi.

 

THE NEXT MORNING

 

“Hey, Tooru, what happened last night?” Iwaizumi questioned, surprising Oikawa in their kitchen, early in the morning, looking confused and worried.

“Nothing, Iwa-chan! Why do you ask?” Oikawa answered nonchalantly, wondering what exactly was forgotten since Iwaizumi seemed to remember him just fine.

Iwaizumi squinted. “The wrecked look you had all over your face before I came in here and you gave me that bullshit answer.”

 _Seems like the same old Iwa to me_ , Oikawa mused. “Iwa, it really is nothing.” Oikawa gave him a small smile and got up from the stool he was sitting on to kiss Iwaizumi good morning. He approached him as always but once he landed a hand on Iwaizumi’s face, the other backed up like he’d been burned.

“What the hell are you doing, shittykawa? Are you messing with me or something?” Iwaizumi’s confused questions came one after the other, but Iwaizumi backing away from his touch was like a blast right through his body, burning his insides, scratching the skin, poisoning every beautiful moment he had lived here, in this place, and every good morning kiss tarnished.

_He forgot us. He forgot how to love me._

Oikawa burst out laughing. “Of couse, Iwa-chan, what else would I be doing? I need to leave soon so you’ll be having breakfast alone, sorry!” He spoke so fast he almost tripped over his words and then he dashed to their room, tears spilling from his eyes the moment he turned his back on Iwaizumi, a completely disconcerted expression on his face, he got dressed as fast as he could for a run, he quickly got his house keys and stepped off into the harsh cold of January, bolting the second he was outside.

He ran and ran, miles on end to get the bitter taste in his mouth out because that was the first time he woke up without Iwaizumi’s kiss in years, but even more tragic, it was the first time in a very long time Iwaizumi had rejected his touch and he felt empty. The feeling of Iwaizumi flooding him wasn’t there anymore, not in his blood or beneath his skin, he didn’t feel his warmth or his presence anymore even though he always did no matter how far apart they were. And now he had to run, he had to get away from this dreadful feeling of not belonging to whom he loved the most. And his lungs were burning, he felt like he might give out, collapse, and he wanted to, he wanted to be unconscious, he wanted to wake up in a world where this wasn’t true, where this kind of pain didn't exist because it shouldn’t. This kind of loss was unlike anything he had ever experienced, it had no space for analogies because nothing was like it, nothing had made him want to not exist like this, to simply not be, to fade out, to forget.

A guttural scream came out of an already raw throat and Oikawa collapsed on the ground, every limb throbbing, his heart everywhere, deafening like a hive of bees swarming around his head.

“Please! No!” He let out. “Please…he’s everything to me.” His words were swallowed in a whisper, his faint breaths coming slowly, like his body, not unlike his mind, was giving up.

With the last remaining energy he had, he built a bridge. Standing on his feet, he whispered quietly. “Take me to mother.” A door opened on the other side of the bridge and he walked those few steps over, opening the door and reveling on the scent of cocoa, mother’s breakfast drink since he can recall and he walked through the threshold.

“Tooru!” His mother exclaimed when she saw his figure walk through the kitchen door. “Tooru…?”

Her child’s eyes were rimmed with dark red circles, any twinkle gone but a plea for someone lost in them. She quickly got to him, holding him protectively in her arms, letting them both go down to the ground, kneeling there on the hardwood floor, her hands softly cradling her baby’s head.

“Oh, Tooru, what happened?” She rocked him gently to calm him down, much like she used to when he was still a little child, and waited for him. When he looked up at her, deep into her eyes, she knew something terrible came to path but she didn’t push him. She helped him up and sat him down, she made him cocoa but he didn’t take a single sip. She drew him a warm bath and he sat there for an hour before putting on the fresh clothes left for him and went to his bedroom, closed the windows and shut himself inside the darkness. For the next few days he wouldn’t eat, or even say a word. He closed himself up like a tomb, but he was also the rotting corpse inside.

He would barely move from his bedroom, lying in bed staring at an open gash only he could see because it ran right through him. He knew what he had done was breaking the rules. Magic always comes at a cost, after all. And although he has the power to create bridges, some, I’m afraid, you just can’t cross. And now, he was being forsaken to the worst fate of all: being forgotten, being unloved.

He couldn’t see a way out, he couldn’t think through the thickness surrounding him, the feeling of utter despair of being rejected by Iwaizumi, the one precious thing he couldn’t give away in his life but that, like any other, could be taken away from him by force.

“Tooru, what are you going to do?” His mother asked, another morning, the silence still standing.

“I don’t know.” Came Oikawa’s hoarse response. “I’ve really made a mess this time, and it’s my fault Iwaizumi doesn’t remember.”

“Seems to me that, at least, he isn’t suffering.”

“Ignorance is bliss, after all.” Oikawa felt like crying again because it occurred to him that Iwaizumi would be so worried right now but that he wasn’t because he didn’t love him enough to care.

“Look, you will find a way to fix this.” His mother held his hand in hers, and reassured him like a mother always does but he didn’t feel any reassurance. He felt unsafe and in unsteady ground. Iwaizumi was rock solid pavement and safety net, and right now, there was nothing but air and Oikawa floating, lost in space. Something he always thought would be the most fun of adventures turned out to be just what it seems. A lonely man drifting off in an endless void.

“Won’t you get back to him?” His mother questioned.

He looked up, eyes filled with nothing but fear. “I will.”

The thought of getting home and not be welcomed with Iwaizumi’s arms around him made him feel alone, the thought of lying and pretending to be who he isn’t hurt him deeply, but the thought of having that moment in their kitchen repeated back to him, Iwaizumi’s body stepping away from him like kissing in the morning wasn’t a habit, a usual thing for them, _that_ made his skin crawl and the tears come back and he wished he would melt into the ground and not be able to be put back together because the only person who ever knew the order of pieces in which he was made was the only person who didn’t remember they were the love of each other’s lives.

 

BACK IN THE NIGHT IWAIZUMI FORGOT

“You knew the rules, gifted one.” The imposing voice filled him, like it came from all around him.

“I was trying to help someone.” Tooru tried to reason but he knew, deep down, there was no coming back from what he tried to do, motive did not matter in the world of magic. Once you cast something into the world, the consequences of your actions will come to collect the price.

“There is no reason strong enough to interfere with the fragile veil of time. You have done this and now, I am afraid, there is nothing I can do to help you for I, as the keeper of order in the realms must punish you, as any other who would try to defy the laws.”

“What will you do to me?”

“Oh, no, that is not what you should be asking, my child.”

Suddenly, Iwaizumi was next to him, looking at him with a confused and scared expression.

“Tooru? What’s going on?” He asked, brow furrowing.

“Hajime, don’t worry, everything will be fine.” Oikawa answered with that reassuring smile, hoping it was dark enough that Iwaizumi wouldn’t see right through his ruse.

There was a gesture made inside the darkness and a string of light came from Iwaizumi’s forehead to get lost in the shadows, stored away. Oikawa quickly got to him in time to catch him as he fell, unconscious in his arms.

 

OIKAWA COMES HOME

Oikawa opened the door to their apartment and there was no one home, of course, Iwaizumi was at work until 8pm, so he would have some time before he came home to figure some stuff out. He took out his notebook and a pencil to write with and started to make a list.

  * Find a way to get Iwa’s memories back



It was a short list, after all, since there was nothing else he could think off but restore Iwaizumi’s memories and get their life back on track. Although to Iwaizumi everything probably felt normal, to him it felt like living a lie, but telling the truth wouldn’t help because Iwaizumi wouldn’t believe him.

 

When Iwaizumi finally arrived he seemed happy to see Oikawa again.

“Hey man, where have you been all this time?” He greeted, slapping a hand on Oikawa’s back.

“I went to visit my mother for a few days, I’m sorry I didn’t warn you before but it was kind of a last minute decision.”

“That’s alright, I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself, you know?” Iwaizumi joked, behaving like the best friend he always was but missing something he didn’t know was missing.

“Yeah, of course you are, Iwa-chan! But I still made your favorite dinner to make up for it: agedashi tofu!” Oikawa served them both and placed the plates on the table.

“Oh, you didn’t have to. But thanks anyway, I’m starving.” Iwa confessed while petting his growling belly.

“That’s not surprising, no matter how many times I tell you you never take a snack to eat in the middle of the afternoon, you’re the fool for not listening to me.”

They sat in front of each other and get started on their dinner.

“Ah, yes, I am the fool, even though I don’t exactly recall you ever telling me that.”

Oikawa’s face distorted for a second but he quickly came back to himself.

“You see, that’s because you never, ever, listen to me! My point is made.”

They ate and drank merrily, the friendly atmosphere there between them, one component of their relationship that did not leave after that cursed night.

“There’s a full moon out tonight, why don’t we grab some beers and head to the terrace?” Iwaizumi suggested.

“Fine by me.” Oikawa agreed, making a quick stop in the bedroom to get a blanket. Iwaizumi always got cold so it was a habit to be prepared.

They sat there under the stars, Iwaizumi pointing out stars and saying their names, even though he was completely wrong but that didn’t really matter and Oikawa forgetting temporarily that this moment between them wasn’t real, it was just two friends drinking beer and keeping each other company. When they went to bed, Oikawa parted with Iwaizumi to sleep in the guest bedroom, which was now his bedroom since they wouldn’t be sleeping together for a while, at least until Oikawa figured out a way to solve this. Which he would. He just had to think and maybe do some traveling. Somehow he would figure out how to bring their love back, he just wasn’t sure he would be able to do it alone. Would he really be able to make Iwaizumi fall in love with him for a second time?


	2. Visiting an old friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru visits an old friend to ask for assistance.

Sunlight streamed from the open blinds, making a line pattern across Tooru’s face. He looked pensively out the window while sitting on the freshly made bed. There was a packed bag by the bedroom door and he was dressed to go, strapping on his dark brown boots and lacing the ties expertly.

Has mentioned, Tooru was a gifted young man and has any craft it had been perfected and now, he used it to make a living. He was, you could say, a collector of rare items. Maybe collector wasn’t the right word. He procured lost objects for a decent price and returned them to whoever sought them out. This was an okay job, definitely not boring, and not 9 to 5. There was always something to be found, and he was someone who could travel anywhere to find it. And on his travels he often met some singular characters, some friend, some foe, but that is, as they say, life.

Now, he wasn’t leaving for work as it would seem to anyone witnessing the scene. But he was, in fact, getting ready to find something that was lost.

He grabbed his bag and made his way down the corridor. He stopped in front of Iwaizumi’s bedroom and placed a hand on the door, opening it slightly and watching the other boy still asleep, peaceful.

“I’ll get them back, Hajime. I promise.”

Forcing himself to move away, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a post-it note. In it he wrote “Gone for work. I’ll be back soon.”. He looked at it, feeling a knot in his throat begin to form as it did as of lately, having to come across simple aspects of their daily life that were now different and strange and not right. Because any other day he would have wrote something sweet, a little message of love, or a joke to make Hajime laugh but now, he couldn’t, he wasn’t allowed.

So he had to get his life back or else he would be miserable forever. And saying he would go to the end of the world for Hajime was, in this case, a literal truth, because he would if that is what it took.

He stepped out into the street and started walking, he went inside a forest like park with hidden nooks and crannies where no one would interrupt him. With a wave of his hand a bridge began to form, stone by stone, and awaited his command for where it should lead him.

“Take me to Kuroo.”

A black door appeared, rimmed with red edges. Tooru stepped through it into a small shop, the sound of a hanging door bell chiming. The floor boards cracked under his heavy boots and Kuroo looked at him from behind the counter like he was expecting him for some time.

“Oikawa Tooru, we meet again.”

“Kuroo, hey.” Oikawa greeted curtly.

“You’re not your usual self. You look like you have a dark cloud following you around like a pet puppy.” Kuroo remarked.

“I would usually laugh and praise your cleverness but, well, as you can see cloud of doom, darkness all around.” Tooru gestured around him as if to make his point.

Kuroo gave him a pitiful smile.

“I need your help.” Oikawa confessed.

“That much I guessed.”

“Something happened to Hajime.” Oikawa started, unsure of how to say that he screwed up so hard he managed to get his boyfriend amnesia. Kuroo just waited silently, patient.

“He lost his memories. Of us. As a couple. And…I need your help getting them back.”

“Lost memories? You know, that’s not exactly the easiest of tasks.”

“I know, that’s why I came to you. You’re the most powerful mage I know.”

Kuroo’s laugh rang through the shop. “As appreciated as compliments are, I’m not sure how I could be of assistance to you.”

“If you could help me locate his memories, I could create a bridge to get there. I can only create a bridge if I know where I’m going and I have no idea where they might be.” Tooru explained. “Do you think you could help with that?”

Kuroo let out a sigh and rested his chin on his hand, elbow placed on the counter. “Maybe.” For a while, the mage was silent, lost in thought and then he straightened up and looked at Tooru. “Look, I’m gonna talk to Kenma and we’ll try to find a spell that can do the kind of thing you need. I can’t make any promises right now but come see me again in a week.”

“Alright. Thank you. I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing. At least, not yet.” They both nodded at each other as a goodbye and Kuroo saw Tooru off.

 

AFTER TOORU LEFT THE SHOP

Kuroo disappeared into the backroom when Tooru’s bridge disappeared into thin air.

“Kenma! Where are you?” He called out.

“I’m right here, stop yelling.” Kenma responded in an annoyed tone. He was sitting underneath the stairs that lead to the upstairs floor, back against the wall where his game was charging. He looked up at Kuuro.

“I still don’t understand why someone with your talents spends his days playing video games.” Kuroo chided, like they hadn’t had this conversation over a thousand times before. Kuroo talking about Kenma’s potential, Kenma positively ignoring him in favor of passing yet another level.

“It has its own magic.” Kenma responded quietly and Kuroo decided he might as well leave it for now.

“So, did you listen to my conversation with Tooru or were you too distracted with that thing?” Kuroo asked.

“I thought eavesdropping was rude?” Kenma remarked at Kuroo’s questioning face as it contorted around an answer he couldn’t find.

“Look, it doesn’t matter.” Kuroo said , exasperated. “Did you or not?”

“Yes.”

“Then you know we have work to do.”

“Are you sure we can help him?” Kenma asked, putting his game down after closing it and giving Kuroo an earnest look, like he really wondered if this was something even they could do.

“I don’t know, alright? But we have to try. He’s our friend. We don’t turn our back on friends.” Kuroo declared, trying to push Kenma’s doubts away even though he had them as well. Doubts or no doubts, you never know until you try, and as always, he’d do his best. You don’t gain your reputation just lazing around, after all.

 

BACK HOME

When Iwaizumi comes back home that night he looks confusedly at Tooru sitting on the couch.

“I thought you were gone for work? You’re usually gone for weeks.”

Tooru looks away from the TV and at Iwaizumi. “Ah, Iwa-chan! I thought you’d be happier to have me around but I see you can’t wait to get rid of me!”

Iwaizumi laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, Tooru, that’s it. But seriously, what happened?”

Back to his serious self, Tooru answered Iwaizumi with a truthful enough answer. The other couldn't know the entire truth, anyway. “Well, this job requires a certain thing from someone and they say it will take a week so…I won’t be leaving until then.”

“That’s cool, man. A whole week without having to work! I guess some us are just lucky.” Iwaizumi stated, a joking smile on his lips.

“Of course we are, Iwa-chan, and since I made you dinner for the second night in a row you should have nothing to complain about!” Oikawa turned off the TV and moved into the kitchen, Iwaizumi following him, now noticing the smell of fried chicken in the air, his mouth watering at the scent.

“Seriously? You’re the best!” Iwaizumi slung an arm around him and for a moment his heart beat slightly faster than usual at the familiarity of the touch but he couldn’t let himself get caught up in it. He laughed to shake the feeling off and took the chicken out of the oven, placing it on top of the table.

“Let’s eat then.” Tooru smiled weakly, a feeling of disappointment that lingered inside him that, somehow, he just couldn’t shake off.

 

A WEEK LATER

Tooru was back in Kuroo’s shop and today Kenma was with him up front. They said their greetings and then Kuroo took them to the back to talk more privately.

“So, we may have found something that could work.”

Tooru’s figure sat up straighter as he listened to Kuroo intently.

“But we’re going to need some things only you can provide.”

“Alright, what is it?” Tooru asked, feeling a little anxious, a little restless.

Kuroo looked at Kenma, who handed Tooru a folded piece of paper. In it, in neat, round handwriting, was a riddle.

 

 **“A witness of what was is needed**  
**If back, the thing you lost, you wish it.**  
**And in your arms you must hold**  
**A reminder of your loss.**  
****  
**If the desire in your heart is true**  
**Surely it will come back to you.**  
**But if in wicked paths you roam**  
**Nothing, I’m afraid, to you will come.”**

  
  
“What…does this mean?” Tooru questioned, a puzzled look in his face as he looked up from the paper onto his friends’ eyes.

“I’m afraid we can’t answer everything, Tooru. If you figure it out, bring us the things we need. Only that way can we perform the spell.” Kuroo spoke, trying to sound reassuring.

Tooru looked down once again, folding the paper and putting it away in his bag. “I’ll be back. Thank you for this.” And with that, he made to leave, disappearing behind a door to somewhere.

“I hope he finds what he’s looking for.” Kuroo sighed.

“He will.” Kenma stated.

Kuroo looked down at him with a questioning look and Kenma shrugged. “He’s determined.” And with that, Kenma left to go upstairs, presumably to play his game.

 

Tooru went back home and sitting on top of his bed, he looked at the riddle again. At last, he had something to hang on to that gave him a sliver of hope. Now, all he had to do was figure this thing out.


	3. Tooru can take care of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An important client calls, Hajime breaks his foot and memories are a double-edged sword.

Two weeks ago an important client of Tooru’s had called for an item. This was a man he could not refuse so his personal quest would have to wait.

What Mr. Matsukawa procured was a bracelet: a one of a kind Victorian Era bracelet for his husband, Mr. Hanamaki. Hanamaki Takahiro had quite the exquisite taste, famous for wearing unique, daring pieces not unlike this one. This bracelet featured a centered oval cut tourmaline bezel set into a diamond encrusted plaque. The tourmaline was accented with rose cut diamonds and square cut blue sapphires. To top it off the bracelet was crafted of gold and platinum, all in the sum of twenty eight carats.

And as you would expect a piece such as this one would take some trouble to acquire. Mr. Matsukawa had tried to buy it himself from a collector in London, who had refused all of his offers. This man did not understand Matsukawa Issei did not take no for an answer.

He also did not get his own hands dirty. That was where Tooru came in.   

For this mission, first Tooru had to meet with this collector at his place. In order to be able to create a bridge there to steal the piece he had to know where exactly it was. And so it began. 

When the meeting was over he had the information he needed and went back to his hotel room. He had to wait until this afternoon, at 7pm, when the Andersons would be attending a cocktail party. Then he would make his move.

Dressed for the occasion, his body entirely covered in black, discretion and secrecy the best policies, he created a bridge directly into the walk in vault. Thankfully, magic didn’t care for codes. He opened the door and quickly retrieved the magnificent piece, leaving the rest as it was and disappearing.

Going back to Japan, he met with Mr. Matsukawa.

“Sir, Mr. Oikawa is here to see you.” A tiny, elegant feminine voice informed Matsukawa, who was sitting at his desk looking over paper work.

“Let him in.” The man said, looking up from what he was reading and waiting for the other to walk through the door.

“Tooru. I trust you have what I asked for.” Matsukawa said in a confident tone of voice.

“Issei. I do.” Tooru affirmed as he took out a simple black box out of his satchel and opened it to reveal the piece.

Matsukawa got up and walked up to him, taking the box from his hands and reveled in its beauty.

“Thank you, old friend. Takahiro is going to be very pleased.” Matsukawa smiled at Tooru before sitting back down. He opened a drawer and took out Tooru’s payment.

“As agreed.” Matsukawa placed ten neatly arranged stacks of money on top of his desk, making that a total of ten grand.

“Always happy to help you, my friend.” They shook hands over the money and Tooru stashed it away. Suddenly, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID that flashed “Unknown”.

“I’m sorry, Issei, but I have to go. Hope Takahiro loves the piece.” He said, both men smiling and nodding at each other. Oikawa went out into the hallway and picked up the call.

“Yes?”

“Hello, we’re calling from St. Luke’s International Hospital, you’re listed as Iwaizumi Hajime’s emergency contact, yes?”

“Yes, I am. What happened? Why is Hajime in the hospital?” Tooru’s mind went to horrible places in the span of 2 seconds, and he waited anxiously for the person on the other side of the line to answer him.

“Calm down, sir. Your friend just broke his foot, but he’s going to need someone to pick him up and look after him for the next few weeks.”

“Okay, alright. I’ll be right there.” Tooru felt a little calmer but was wondering how the hell this happened. He hung up and made a bridge, coming out at the hospital. He didn’t even think about the nurse wondering how fast he got there, he just needed to get to Hajime.

“Hello, I’m here to see Iwaizumi Hajime, in which room is he?”

The nurse looked at him skeptically. “Weren’t- weren’t we just on the phone?”

“Turns out I was nearer than I thought.” Tooru gave her a quick smile and waited for her to comply.

She didn’t look very convinced but gave him the room number anyway. 24. He scurried through the hallways until he found Iwaizumi in bed, an orthopedic shoe on his foot, eating jello, looking dejected and bored. Trying to remind himself to act like a concerned friend and not an extremely concerned lover, Tooru schooled his expression and walked in the room.

“Iwa-chan…what happened?” He’d give himself a pat on the back for sounding, somewhat, normal. Even if there was a little something in his voice that could’ve given it away, this Iwaizumi wouldn’t be able to tell.

“Oh, man! I’m so sorry for dragging you all the way here, I know you were working!” Iwaizumi seemed relieved to see him, or at least, to see someone familiar, but he quickly started looking guilty for being the reason of someone else’s trouble.

“Hajime, come on, we’ve been best friends since forever, and besides, the job is done. Just tell me what happened?” Tooru put on his most reassuring tone.

Hajime didn’t fight him further. “This guy at the gym I work on, he dropped a dumbbell on my foot. Fucking prick. I mean, I don’t know if he is, I just…he dropped a goddamn weight on my foot, you know?!”

Tooru laughed and Hajime looked at him with betrayal in his eyes.

“Why the hell are you laughing, shittykawa?” Hajime asked, side-eyeing Tooru.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan! It’s just…you have such good reflexes, one would have expected you to be able to dodge that, is all…” Tooru teased.

“Are you seriously offending my physical abilities, right now, in my time of need? When you have friends like these, do you even need friends?” Hajime huffed, going along with it, the playfulness somewhat distracting and comforting. Tooru laughed some more.

“How about we go home, now, if that’s alright with you? I trust you already know how to take care of that, right? You can clue me in on the way home but it would be something like when I injured my knee, yeah?”

“Yeah. Rest, ice, compression, and elevation, that kind of thing.”

“Okay then, did they give you crutches or will I have to carry you downstairs?” Tooru joked, with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face.

“Idiot.” Hajime threw back at him, rolling his eyes.

 

BACK HOME

 

Tooru opened the door to their apartment and let Hajime inside.

“I hope you realize I’m going to be just as obnoxious as you were when I injured myself, Iwa-chan!” Tooru warned.

“You’re always obnoxious, I don’t expect anything less.” Iwaizumi responded as he walked to the sofa to lie down.

“Rude as always, Iwa-chan!” Tooru huffed and looked at Iwaizumi with a dejected face. Iwaizumi just shook his head. “So…I didn’t really have time to make anything to eat and, frankly, I’m kind of tired. Can we just order from that place around the corner?”

“Yeah, sure.” Hajime said, reaching for the remote on the coffee table and failing to retrieve it. He puppy eyed Tooru.

“Are you serious?” Puppy eyes intensified.

“You suck.” Tooru walked up to him and gave him the remote. While Iwaizumi entertained himself with whatever was on, he grabbed his keys and went to grab their food.

When he came back, they ate in the living room, figuring it wasn’t worth Iwaizumi getting up just to eat in the kitchen. They watched TV together and Iwaizumi ended up falling asleep. When Tooru looked over to him he had this beautiful expression, or just a normal expression, but it was beautiful nonetheless. It made Tooru think of better days.

 

ON A BETTER DAY, IN THE PAST

 

Hajime fell asleep on his lap while they were having movie night. And while they were watching Alien, the traitor! He grabbed Iwaizumi’s head and slowly got out from under him. He looked down at the boy and thought he might as well carry him to the bedroom or else he would bitch about his back hurting all day tomorrow. And it would be Sunday, so it wouldn’t be appreciated.

He placed one arm under Hajime’s back and the other under his thighs. He lifted him with a grunt. The other didn’t even stir. Thankfully, the bedroom wasn’t far. He slowly lowered Iwaizumi onto his side of the bed. He stripped him of his jeans, leaving him in boxers. He decided to let him keep his shirt or he might wake up while Oikawa tried to take it off, even though in a place in his mind it didn’t sound so bad just after seeing those bare thighs. He wondered how mad Iwaizumi would be to be waken up for sex. He went with “mad but glad”, got rid of all his clothes except for his boxers and climbed on top of Hajime. Petting his hair, he began to kiss his cheek, his neck, rubbing their noses together and looking at Hajime to see if that got him something. While stroking the other’s cheek with his thumb, he quietly whispered in Hajime’s ear. 

“Hajime…” Hajime gave him a slight hum sound. 

“Baby, would you please wake up? I swear you’ll want to be awake for this…” Oikawa resumed his kissing, pulling Hajime’s shirt up to be able to kiss his tummy, following the v line down to the waistband of his boxers but not touching them.

Tooru felt a hand petting his hair and he decided that was a green light to keep going. He massaged Hajime through his boxers and took him out when he was already half hard, wrapping his wet mouth around the head of Hajime’s dick and hearing Hajime’s breath hitching in the silence of their bedroom. Tooru looked up at him, seeing that his eyes were now open, his head cocked to the side, waiting. 

Tooru smiled and licked Iwaizumi’s dick all the way from his balls to the red tip, swallowing down, putting his tongue flat against the shaft and going as low and he could, feeling Hajime’s dick open up his throat. When it choked him he came back up, inhaling as much air as he could, feeling his eyes watering. The sensation, as always, left him in a daze. Hajime was fully hard now and Tooru stopped sucking him to whisper something in his ear.

“I love to suck your cock so much, you know? It leaves me so desperate for more.” When he looked at Hajime, the other looked hungry. Tooru lowered his head down to kiss Hajime filthily slow, grinding their cocks together to heat both of them up.

“Let me fuck you? I promise I’ll do all the work… You just enjoy yourself, is that okay?” Tooru asked between caresses.

Hajime smiled between kisses and nodded. “Go ahead.” He confirmed, half-asleep, but squeezing Tooru’s ass as a confirmation of his eagerness.

 

 

BACK TO THE PRESENT

 

Tooru cut the memory short, rubbing his forehead, feeling both distressed and aroused. He got up, placed his arms under Iwaizumi and lifted him up, feeling a strange sense of deja vu and carried him to his room. As usual, the other didn’t stir. He left him as he was, simply pulling the covers over him.

He slowly stroked Hajime’s hair, which felt as soft as usual. He bit his lip hard and tore himself away, closing the door behind him and heading to his own room, falling rapidly asleep and wishing with all his heart he dreamed about Hajime tonight. The Hajime he had before all this. The one he was allowed to kiss good night. The one who loved him back.


	4. The mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru is met with a part of his past and makes a significant breakthrough on his quest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on a week long vacation on sunday, therefore I decided to update before that! Hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Two weeks had already gone by since Iwaizumi’s injury and he was, to put it simply, restless. It would take, at least, four more weeks for him to be able to walk properly and that, to Hajime, was unbearable. He hated to be home so much, not able to go out for a run every day, feel the crisp morning air, his body heating as he kept pushing himself, getting home and-

As Hajime thought about his usual routine he couldn’t help but feel unsettled. He felt that it was logical to get home, take a shower, go to work. It seemed in perfect order, then…why did it feel like there was something he was forgetting to do? He wracked his mind. No, he couldn’t remember ever doing anything else in between. Why was his mind playing tricks on him? Must be too much leisure.

“Tooru!” He called out. Tooru appeared after a few seconds, pocking his head into the living room.

“What is it? Do you need anything?”

“I was just thinking…could we go out for a while? I’m so sick of being inside all day.” Iwaizumi brushed fingers through his hair, a sign of anxiety and distress.

“Of course, we can. Let me just get dressed!” Tooru disappeared into the hallway only to come back a moment later. “Iwa-chan…maybe you should change also?”

Hajime looked himself over, dressed in a three day old shirt and some random pair of sweatpants. “I guess.” He huffed. “Get something for me? You’re better at choosing that stuff anyway.” Tooru smiled at him in excitement and ran to Iwaizumi’s room, the main room, what used to be their room, and went inside the walk in closet. Suddenly, he was met with his mirror. He hadn’t seen it in a while because he hadn’t come in here in a while.

The tall mirror reflected him back and made him pause. This mirror was old, as old as Tooru himself actually. It had tiny red markings on the sides that showed Tooru’s growth until he was about twelve and grew taller than the mirror itself. The thing was, this mirror was a gift from his grandmother. First, it had been in his grandma’s house and she’d say to him from time to time: “My boy, don’t you look big and strong? Come, let’s see how much you’ve grown!” And she’d leave a new red mark on the clean surface of the mirror. When she died, his mother told him grandma had left him that mirror and a small note. In the note it said, in careful handwriting, _My dear Tooru, you should know, the highlight of my life was to watch you grow._

He was very close to his grandmother and her death had been a vulnerable time. He remembered he was in his last year of high school and couldn’t believe she wouldn’t be there when he graduated. That was also a significant time for himself and Hajime because no one was ever as close to him as Hajime and no one could understand just how much this death meant to him, except for Hajime. They grew closer together then.

When they went off to college the mirror stayed back in Miyagi but when they decided to stay in Tokyo for good, Tooru didn’t hesitate to bring one of his most valued possessions with him.

This mirror was representative of his past, but it saw him through so many moments until now. He couldn’t believe how a singular piece could hold so much value and importance.

He was lost in thoughts when Iwaizumi called for him once more, shouting about why it was taking him so long. He gathered himself and rushed to pick out an assemble of clothes. It wasn’t hard, he still remembered his favorite things to see on Iwaizumi, he just went with that, it was a good opportunity.

He gave Iwaizumi his clothes and went back to his own room to get changed. When he was tying up his sneakers by the head of the bed he noticed the paper he’d left on his nightstand, the riddle Kuroo had given him, and mindlessly opened it to read it one more time. And somehow, it made sense.

**_“A witness of what was…”_ **

“Our mirror…” He whispered in quiet awe to himself. As significant breakthroughs went, this had to be one of them. He couldn’t believe he’d actually figured it out. He used to be terrible at analyzing texts back in college, a little too eager to move, to get out there, to see the world. He supposed he had a drive this time, it was to his own benefit he understood what it meant. Now that he did, he felt refreshed.

He put the riddle back on top of the nightstand and left the bedroom. In the living room, Iwaizumi was struggling to put his pants on. Tooru figured a good friend had to help so he did.

“I have a proposal to make but I’m not sure how you’re going to feel about it.” Tooru declared, his tone shy and tentative, which was quite out of the ordinary.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at Tooru as the other helped put his orthopedic boot back on. “Just…lay it on me.”

“I figured it’ll be hard for you to walk a lot, and I know how much you love fresh air…I thought maybe you’d like to go on a bike ride?”

“Are you serious? Tooru, that would actually be so amazing, right now.” Hajime looked down at Tooru in wonder, like the idea made him feel excited and bubbly like he hadn’t at all in the past few weeks. That made Tooru smile radiantly.

“All right! Then let’s go!”

Tooru opened the door and put his arm around Hajime’s waist to help him walk. Since they were going on a bike ride, they couldn’t exactly bring Iwaizumi’s crutches and Tooru was glad he had an excuse to touch Hajime, to feel him this close.

He helped Hajime get on top of the bike and gave him his helmet, getting on top of it himself.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, man, we can go.”

Tooru started the bike and let it purr for a moment before pressing the accelerator. He wondered where he should take Hajime.

Then a thought came to him. It was already somewhat late, the sun was setting, it would be night time soon. He would take Hajime to Hinode Pier, they could sit there and look at the Rainbow Bridge all lightened up, Tokyo’s buildings in the background, the stars.

They drove out there and Hajime seemed to be enjoying the ride, Tooru keeping it as smooth as possible not to startle the other and let him just soak in. He could feel Hajime’s hands holding on to him and as simple as that was, it felt good to be touched by him, even if it didn’t mean anything. Having Hajime at close proximity was enough, to feel that familiar warmth crowding him. It was the best moment he’d had in a while. He let himself feel content.

As they arrived, Tooru dismounted and helped Hajime get off, as well, taking him towards a spot he knew because it wasn’t exactly the first time they’d been here together, but he’d reminisce on that later. For now, he was going to enjoy this evening.

They sat down on the ground in silence and looked at the city lights, bright and shiny, coming from every direction. Tooru lay down and looked up at the night sky, as he was more the star gazing kind of person than city light viewing. He was surprised when Hajime followed him down and looked up with him.

Tooru thought vaguely about his grandmother, the encounter with the mirror, and how much he missed her. How it had been too long since he last thought of her smile and her soft hands on his cheeks. He felt the side of his face grow wet and felt relieved to let something out of him, after all, he carried so much and there was no one who could carry the weight of his life for him.

Hajime looked at him and asked what he was thinking. He decided he could answer truthfully about this.

“My grandmother. It’s been so long, you know? I looked up at the stars and I suddenly wished she was looking down at me and smiling.” Tooru felt himself smile at the thought and let tears bubble up again and fall slowly down the side of his face.

“I remember her. I’m sure she is, Tooru.” Hajime held his hand, comforting him. Tooru bit his lip and more tears came, he tried his best to keep himself quiet and after a few deep breaths, calmed himself down. Hajime kept holding his hand and he stayed perfectly still, in fear that any gesture could make the other retreat. He looked at him and wished upon every little star he could see that he could kiss those lips, right now. When Hajime turned to him, their eyes met. They were holding hands and they were eye to eye and Tooru felt an incredible need to kiss Hajime but he didn’t make a move. He wouldn’t ever put Hajime in that position again, or himself, for that matter.

He saw Hajime furrowing his brow, a sign he was wracking his brain to answer something on his mind. But Hajime was never one to overthink, he was a person who felt, above all else. So when he leaned in and kissed Tooru’s lips is because he felt the need to do it, above all else.


	5. If I want it, and you want it...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime is starting to question his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late update! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

When a moment is suspended in time, you can feel your breathing slow down to a fraction of a second. Your blood moves quietly inside but you can hear your heart beat in your ears, as if it was everywhere inside, chasing its normal rhythm but unable to find it.

If the choice comes from others, Tooru can build bridges between people, somewhat like a bond that brings them together. He used to have a bridge between him and Hajime, built when they gave in to their feelings, an automatic magic that acted of itself. And now, Tooru felt that inside of him, the bridge once destroyed by Hajime’s loss still had hopes of being remade anew.

When Hajime pulled back from his lips, he didn’t question the other’s actions. It came out of Hajime as a choice he made and he knew Hajime was hardly someone to regret the things he did since he always did them with a purpose.

With their hands still intertwined, Tooru asked if Iwaizumi wanted to head home. It was getting late and cold for the thin jackets they had brought. Hajime agreed and Tooru helped him get up and go back towards the bike.

Reaching home, the warm atmosphere inside was comforting. They took of their shoes and got rid of their jackets, walking barefoot around the house.

Hajime got his crutches right by the door and walked to the couch, lowering himself down and turning on the TV.

“Tooru, how about we watch something?” Hajime called out to the other who had disappeared inside the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Tooru reached the living room and settled the bottle down on the small table in front of the sofa. Then, putting both hands on his waist, he made a humming noise.

“We’ll need snacks, Iwa-chan.” He went back to the kitchen and ravaged the cabinets. Hajime could hear the faint noise of the microwave as Tooru made popcorn. A few minutes later, there was a big bowl of salty popcorn on the table, two cans of soda, a large bag of potato chips and some colorful looking candy.

Hajime let out a big sigh. “I haven’t gone to the gym in weeks, why are you tempting me with all this?”

“Because, Iwa-chan, everyone deserves a cheat day!” Tooru smiled cheerfully down at Hajime’s grumpy but amused face and walked to the cabinet next to the TV to rummage for a DVD.

“What are you in the mood for, Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked as he looked back with three DVD cases in hand, presumably so Hajime could choose from one of those.

Hajime looked dismayed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Tooru…any of those you’ll end up crying.”

Tooru gasped. “How dare you?! I am _not_ a cry baby. It is absolutely not my fault I am a sensitive person with _feelings_ unlike big tough manly Iwa-chan!” He crossed his arms and huffed, looking determined not to be insulted for his tendency to cry during sensible scenes in movies.

Iwaizumi just shook his head. “Come here.” He motioned for Tooru to come sit on the sofa with him and the other, as begrudgingly as he managed to look, went. Hajime grabbed the remote and clicked on the little icon for the _recorded_ folder. After searching a little, he found one of their favorite moves, _Mr. and Mrs. Smith._ It combined Hajime’s favorite genre, action, with Tooru’s, romance. It was just a fun film to see, meaning Tooru wouldn’t cry and Hajime wouldn’t have trouble with him, win/win situation.

Hajime looked at Tooru, the movie selected and his finger hovering over the play button. Tooru grabbed the popcorn, settling it on his lap and turned to the TV, signaling his approval. Iwaizumi pressed play and soon they were cozy under a blanket watching as the story unraveled.

Halfway through the movie, when the characters, who were married, realized they were from rival assassin agencies and were ordered to kill each other, Tooru called for Hajime.

“Iwa-chan.” Tooru murmured into the dark room, the light coming from the TV cast over their bodies the only thing allowing them to see each other. “If you discovered I was ordered to kill you and you, me, what would you do?”

“I would blast you into next week with a bazooka.” Came the deadpanned response.

“You’re an asshole.” Iwaizumi chuckled.

“I would poison your morning protein shake.” Tooru declared through gritted teeth.

“Smart move. Except you’re too lazy to get up earlier than me.”

Tooru narrowed his eyes and closed his hands into fists. _Bastard_ , he thought.

“Dinner, then. Next time you eat chicken tikka masala, you may find it spiced with more than just curry.”

“If you keep telling me your strategies, how do you expect them to work?” Hajime looked at Tooru with a raised eyebrow, barely noticeable in the dark.

“Because Iwa-chan trusts me too much to think I’m serious!” Tooru puts his tongue out, making a face at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi face palms him and buries his head in the cushions. Tooru fights him, kicking the side of his torso and when that doesn’t work, he licks Hajime’s wrist to get the other’s hand off his face.

“Really, assykawa?” Hajime pulls his hand off and drags it across Tooru’s t-shirt, cleaning the saliva of his skin.

“Disgusting, Iwa-chan!!” Tooru whines as he drags Hajime’s arm away from his shirt.

Tooru manages to get himself back into an upright position and when he looks at the screen, the movie as almost reached the end.

“Hey, can you go turn on the lights?” Hajime asks from his corner of the couch and Tooru gets up to do so. Hajime waits for him to come back and then turn his body to face him.

Running his fingers through his hair, Hajime wondered why joking around like that with Tooru made him want to kiss him. To tease him more and make him irritated and then kiss it away and see Tooru’s mood turning around. It wasn't like the kiss from before, when he was trying to be comforting but it was similar in the sense that it was something he desired without thought.

He just didn't understand why these feelings were surfacing now. He’d known Tooru for years, since they were children, through adolescence, adulthood. Wouldn’t it make sense to feel it sooner? Why just now, after such a long time? He felt confused but, at the same time, it was Tooru. His friend, _best_ friend, Tooru. And more than that, Tooru seemed to be okay with it. He didn’t say anything about the other kiss. Why wouldn’t he question it? Hajime couldn’t understand. However, if he didn’t deny it, refuse it, speak against it, then what was the harm in doing it again? Hajime wanted it, despite not having a logical reason why. He had always acknowledged the fact that Tooru was extremely attractive but he can’t remember having any thought beyond that. It never translated into actions. Now, though, he felt like doing it. And it wasn't like he was a slave to his desires but he also didn’t see the point in denying himself something he was craving if the interest was mutual. But he vaguely wondered, if the interest was mutual, why hadn’t Tooru said or done anything himself? 

Taking a deep breath and shaking off every question that plagued his mind, he looked at Tooru’s eyes, who was waiting for him to do or say something. He grabbed Tooru's ankles and pulled them firmly together. The other looked surprised but had little time for it, as Hajime placed a hand on his jaw and pulled him in for a kiss.


	6. There is nothing a true love's kiss can't fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing a true love's kiss can't fix.

A FEW WEEKS LATER, WHEN IWA IS HEALED

 

“Let’s go out to celebrate!” Tooru exclaimed cheerfully as they walked back home from the hospital after Hajime suggested it, saying he  wanted to experience walking normally again. Hajime chuckled and looked at Tooru.

“Will you make it worth my while?” Hajime questioned teasingly.

“Don’t I always, Iwa-chan?” Tooru fired back, winking.

 

*

 

For the past few weeks, they had become closer. After Hajime kissed him, Tooru decided he would go along. He would let it happen. And he hoped that maybe, Hajime would fall back in love with him and they could make a new life together, a new love out of this.

They hadn’t gone out much, since Hajime’s foot was still healing, and he wasn’t sure that he should ask Hajime out for a date or if he should wait for Hajime to do it himself, nervous of going too fast and crashing the new opportunity he had been given.

Therefore, he waited. He waited through movie nights, kissing each other’s mouths sweet from the candy, he waited through Hajime falling asleep on his lap as comfortably as he did before, he waited though every meal, every smile Hajime gave him and every laugh he was responsible for.

And on their walk back home from the hospital, watching Hajime’s joyful smile, knowing he couldn’t wait for the morning to run and run and run but worrying he would overdo it and injure himself again, his heart bursting with emotion, he had just suggested they go out for a celebration. Hajime could take it anyway he wanted that way, as a date or not a date, as friends hanging out, whatever he chose was a better definition.

 

*

 

That night, Tooru packed a small bag with a blanket and a tiny portable speaker. He handed it to Hajime, who placed it over his shoulders, as they went out and climbed onto Tooru’s motorbike.

Hajime didn’t know where they were going, since Tooru and him had only been to this place when they were together and Hajime couldn’t remember that. A part of Tooru rejoiced in the fact that he would get to show Hajime all of it again, to surprise him, to see the look on his face for the first time, once again, just as excited as before.

It was a viewpoint on the hills where you could see the entire city. The hills were filled with green grass and beautiful trees and flowers that made the entire space smell sweet. It was the most romantic spot he could think of.

As they arrived, Hajime marveled, eyes shining, smile beaming and Tooru reflected his actions, overjoyed. While Hajime looked around and inhaled the sweet scent around them, feeling the pollen tickle his nose, Tooru settled the blanket down on the grass and took out his speaker. He had their playlist prepared. Not that Hajime would recognize most of the songs, but they were still their songs and fun to listen to, therefore Tooru clicked play on the first one and the sound blasted though the empty space filling their ears.

Here’s the thing, Hajime loved to dance. He couldn’t keep still when music was on and especially if it had good rhythm and beat. Of course, Tooru’s music was already adjusted to this fact and every song was amazing for Hajime to let go of himself and dance his worries away.

“Ohhh! Tooru…come dance with me!” Hajime asked, motioning for Tooru to come with his hands while he swayed along to the beat. Tooru laughed from where he was sitting down on the ground.

“What?! I thought you were dancing for me! Isn’t this my private show, Iwa-chan?” Tooru teased, laughter in his voice. Hajime shook his head and smiled back.

“Afraid not! Come on! There is nobody else here watching you but me, and the stars. Just come dance for the starts, Tooru.” Tooru pushed himself up and took the hand Hajime stretched out for him.

Songs ended and began and they danced and laughed and kissed each other in between, breathing ragged and mouths sweet, body covered in sweat, until they finally took a break when the music stopped, the playlist coming to an end.

Laying down on top of the blanket, they caught their breath and looked absentmindedly at the stars that stretched above them, covering the sky from end to end.

“Tooru.” The name filled the silent space between them and they turned to look each other in the eye, much like that night weeks ago when Hajime had first kissed Tooru. Hajime smiled, a feeling washing over him, his body light as a feather and he kissed Tooru softly, with feeling.

Suddenly, Hajime shot straight up, his eyes wide open, gasping for air like someone just punched something inside him. Tears filled his eyes and began rolling down his cheeks, remembering every little moment he had spent with Tooru. Not these few moments in the past few weeks, which had been amazing, but also every other moment in their lives, the ones he’d lost, the one’s he couldn’t remember. And now, he could finally make sense of everything.

He looked back at Tooru, who had concern splashed over his face and smiled earnestly at him, letting his tears fall free.

“I remember.” He whispered. “I remember.” His words felt hysterical, like he couldn’t believe what he was saying or what was really happening, but it was real and he remembered.

Tooru clinged to him and kissed him fiercely, saying _thank you_ over and over again in his mind.

“How…?” Tooru stared, quizzically, trying to figure it out.

“Because I love you. Because I fell in love with you, again.” Hajime laughed and a few more tears fell from his eyes, Tooru wiping them away.

“I love you so much. I won’t lose you again, I promise.” Tooru hugged Hajime firmly against him, whispering in his ear. Pulling back they smiled at each other as if this was a dream, the good kind after the worst nightmare.

They breathed a sigh of relief and finally let themselves calm down.

Settling down once again, they kissed each other softly, just like saying _welcome home_.


End file.
